Single mother by choice (SMC) is a woman-identified individual who chooses to have a child on her own via sperm donation, without the involvement of a partner. Becoming an SMC is an increasingly popular path to motherhood, as more people with ovaries are making the decision to have a child on their own, whether through artificial insemination, adoption, IVF, or other means.
In recent years, SMCs have formed small but rich and tight-knit online communities such as the 6,000-member strong Single Mother by Choice reddit page and the Single Mothers by Choice Organisation, where they help hopeful and aspiring SMCs navigate the complexities of this path. Topics include how to prepare finances for a child, what to say to friends and family, how to find a sperm donor, and whether to do insemination through a fertility clinic or at-home methods. (Read more about home insemination kits here.)
As there are few resources available for SMCs, sharing their stories online helps other single women who long for a child but are tired of waiting for the right partner to start a family. Here’s one such story from a Singapore-based SMC, R.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is not intended as medical advice.
After Giving Birth, R Shares Her Story With twoplus
Interview responses were edited for clarity.
Q: Hi, R! Tell us a bit about yourself! How old are you and your partner and what do you both work as?
A: Hi, I'm R. I'm 35 years old. I was 34 when I conceived. I'm not married and just wanted to have a child.
Q: Could you share more about your fertility struggles (if any) before the pregnancy?
A: I did not have any struggles. [Because] I didn't want to get married but wanted to have a child, I had to get pregnant via the help of a donor through artificial insemination. I preferred doing home artificial insemination.
Q: Were you diagnosed with any medical conditions relating to fertility by a licensed healthcare professional, and what tests did you do?
A: I did not have any health issues.
Q: What else have you tried in your TTC journey before using twoplus Fertility?
A: I only used twoplus Fertility.
Q: Was the Applicator easy to use? Were they uncomfortable after inserting?
A: Yes, the Applicator was very easy to use. It was not uncomfortable.
Q: Congratulations on getting pregnant with the twoplus Applicator! Is this your first successful pregnancy?
A: This is my first attempt and it was a successful pregnancy. I gave birth to my daughter about 3 weeks back.
Q: How often did you use it before you got your positive pregnancy test? Could you share more about finding the right frequency that worked for you? Also, what did you use to track your ovulation?
A: This was my first attempt. I used it for 4 consecutive days (but I think 3 days would have been enough). I used an ovulation test kit to track my ovulation.
Q: Did you adopt any lifestyle changes to improve your odds of conceiving?
Q: Would you recommend the twoplus Applicator to other people who may have difficulties with natural conception?
A: Yes, of course.
Q: If you could go back to the beginning of your TTC journey, what would you have done differently? Also, what would you suggest to other couples who are TTC?
A: There is nothing I would have done differently. It's best to track your ovulation* before attempting. I think that helped me the most.
*A note from twoplus: If you need help tracking your ovulation, check out our guide on basal body temperature charts for ovulation tracking.
Q: How has life been with your baby girl so far? :) What’s your take on motherhood?
A: Tiring! Hahaha! But Amazing! I can't believe that I created this little human. I'm loving every part of motherhood. I never knew that I could love and protect someone this much.
Being a mother is a full-time job with no breaks. Sometimes it feels like a marathon, but with each step, I'm reminded of how strong and capable I am and the rewards are priceless. ❤️
Being an SMC Is an Empowering Journey
The SMC community is filled with folks who have leaned into their desire to become mothers outside of meeting a partner, and that’s incredibly beautiful and empowering.
If you’re interested in becoming an SMC like R, let the twoplus Applicator help you conceive. You may be a single parent, but you don’t need to walk the path to motherhood alone. twoplus offers the support you need with our backed-by-science home fertility aids to take the pressure off conception.