trying to conceive couple loses spark in relationship

Here’s How to Keep the Spark Alive While You’re Trying to Conceive

Trying to conceive can turn into an incredibly stressful experience, especially as time goes by. That said, it’s essential for you and your partner to keep the spark alive. Discover how to accomplish this and transform your conception journey into a pleasant one.

If you’ve ever overindulged in something, you may become bored, even if it’s only for a week or two. For example, abstaining from your favorite snack after having it for several days straight. Couples trying to conceive (TTC) — especially those who’ve been at it for a while — are in a similar situation regarding sex.

Baby-making sex (BMS) on the daily might sound like a dream come true for people with a high libido. But it can become stressful and tedious as time goes by.

Remember, you’re on a mission to conceive, after all. Additionally, you and your partner still have personal and professional commitments before the TTC sex begins.

Before you raise the white flag, we want you to know you can keep the spark alive on your conception journey. All it takes is a little communication, effort, and some new tools (not that kind!).

But first, let’s understand why intimacy gets left behind when couples try to conceive.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this post is not intended as medical advice.


Why Does Intimacy Fall by the Wayside?

Firstly, you and your partner still have daily obligations to attend to while you’re TTC — cue the 101 things on your work to-do list.

For most of your journey to parenthood, you likely won’t be making love to each other during an idyllic backdrop. It’s normal for work stress and other forms of lifestyle fatigue to strip away some of your enthusiasm and energy if not all.

Then, there’s the TTC pressure you face.

The longer it takes for you to conceive, the more you question yourselves. Ditto for the increasing number of queries from your relatives and friends, even if they mean well. Understandably, this leads to issues like performance anxiety, which causes sex to become even more tiresome.

There's even less room for intimacy for couples who require assisted reproductive technology (ART) techniques like in-vitro fertilization (IVF). After all, biologically male individuals have to ejaculate into a sterile container in a clinical or laboratory setting.

For people with ovaries, an ultrasound probe and a thin needle are inserted into your body to retrieve the eggs.

Performing these procedures in front of a medical audience effectively extinguishes any physical and emotional intimacy characteristic of good, old-fashioned lovemaking.


How Fertility Aids Take the Heat Off You

Home fertility aids like self-insemination kits and at-home conception aids have grown by leaps and bounds through the years, in terms of variety and usefulness.

These tools help lessen some of your TTC burden. The best part? You can use them in the complete privacy and comfort of your bedroom — or anywhere else if you want to change things up (*wink*).

If you’re interested in learning more about home fertility aids to boost your TTC efforts, check out the twoplus Sperm Guide and Applicator Extra in the following sections.

Sperm Guide: The Do-It-All Conception Kit

twoplus Sperm Guide at home conception aid retains intimacy

If you’re new to the Sperm Guide, it’s an at-home conception aid used during sex.

Before you heat up the sheets with your partner, insert the Sperm Guide into the vagina so the penis glides over it during sex. After the deed, the flap of the Sperm Guide springs up to minimize semen backflow and helps trap more sperm near the cervical opening.

With the Sperm Guide, your swimmers can now bypass the acidic environment of the lower vaginal tract, which is harmful to them.

We can go on and on about the Sperm Guide’s role in procreative sex. To satisfy your curiosity, we’ve written a post about what the Sperm Guide is and how it works.

BTW, did you know the Sperm Guide is made of 100% medical-grade silicone? This ensures it’s safe and comfortable to use. Heck, you can leave it inside you for up to an hour and go about your day after sex.

Some couples even mentioned that the Sperm Guide improved their pleasure in bed, but of course, the experience may vary from individual to individual.

Try The Sperm Guide For Procreative Sex


Applicator Extra: A Self-Insemination Syringe

twoplus Applicator Extra at home insemination kit retains intimacy

For same-sex partners and anyone preferring to leave sex out of the equation, the Applicator Extra is made for you.

This self-insemination syringe is used for intravaginal insemination (IVI). Just fill it with donated or ejaculated sperm before injecting it into the vagina. This way, the Applicator Extra deposits semen deep into the vaginal tract. And we all know the more sperm that reaches the egg, the greater your chances of conceiving!

That said, self-insemination need not necessarily take place without your partner. Instead, get your S.O. involved in the process too! This could mean setting the scene with some scented candles and romantic tunes while both of you get busy with the sperm syringe.

What’s unique about the Applicator Extra is its Soft Tip.

The Soft Tip reduces immediate semen leakage from the vaginal tract. Plus, it makes inserting the Applicator Extra into the vagina more comfortable. Learn why the Applicator Extra is one of our top sellers among TTC individuals.

Like the Sperm Guide, the Soft Tip is made of 100% medical-grade silicone, so you can leave it in you for up to an hour after sex and go on with your day.

Check Out the Applicator Extra


Rekindling Your Intimacy and Romance

Fertility aids help make your conception efforts more efficient while retaining intimacy. But you and your partner can complement home fertility tools with other things to keep the spark alive. Here’s how you can rekindle the flame with each other.


Pencil In Date Nights on Your Calendar

trying to conceive couple on a date night

At the start of every relationship, date nights are usually a weekly occurrence. But most couples lament that these intimate moments become rarer the longer they are together.

If this sounds like you and your other half, perhaps this 2021 study might make you reprioritize date nights. The researchers concluded that going out on dates is indeed crucial for couples to remain close.


Trying Out New Sex Positions

If you’re TTC but not in the mood, getting creative might help.

Trying out new sex positions is a refreshing experience, especially for couples who have been together for a long time. It might be human nature to rely on what we’re comfortable with, but it can become dull real quick.

While there’s no need for you and your partner to become Kama Sutra experts, it’s worth the time and effort to expand your sexual repertoire.

You’d also be glad to know there are certain sex positions excellent for couples who are trying to get pregnant. Don't worry; none of these require superhuman strength or body contortions.


Improving Your Emotional Intimacy

Until superpowers become real, humans can’t read minds.

Speaking with and listening to your partner is crucial to maintaining and improving emotional intimacy. Because baby-making sex will be a regular event, you both need to learn how to communicate and make the process as pleasurable as possible.

You should also raise TTC-related issues as soon as they appear.

For example, if your partner is beginning to suffer from performance anxiety, speak with them and understand what’s happening instead of judging or blaming them. It’s not worth it if your relationship gets unnecessarily strained while trying for a baby.


Keep the Fire Alive in Your Conception Journey

“As a Relationship Counselor and Clinical Sexologist, I wholeheartedly agree with the importance of keeping the spark alive while trying to conceive. Intimacy plays a crucial role in maintaining a strong connection between partners during this journey. 

Through open communication, exploring new ways to connect, and prioritizing pleasure, couples can nurture their relationship and enhance their fertility goals. I have been providing support and guidance to couples on this transformative path since 2009.” 

Dr. Martha Tara Lee is the Relationship Counselor and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She has a Doctorate in Human Sexuality, a Master's in Counselling and two other relevant degrees. Dr. Lee is also the appointed Resident Sexologist of Singapore Cancer Society, OfNoah and OfZoey. She is also the author of 4 books, including Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013) and Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015).

Learn more about Eros Coaching here.


Amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it’s easy to lose your intimacy with your partner and view procreation as a chore.

That’s why it’s so important to keep the spark alive in your relationship with each other. Forging strong emotional bonds with your life partner is the foundation for better support, deeper trust, and less stress. It’s also easier to motivate each other when the going gets tough, a reality that many TTC couples know all too well.

Prioritizing emotional and physical intimacy will make the journey to becoming parents much smoother, especially if you’re going through artificial insemination. There’s no better time to start than now — time to book that omakase for date night!