Don’t let trying to conceive (TTC) drain the fun from your sex life. Here are 10 easy ways to rekindle the sparks in the bedroom and beyond.
Keeping things interesting in the bedroom is often a matter of getting and staying in touch with your sexual selves — both individually and as a couple.
However, the tedium of everyday life has a habit of dampening desire, even for the most amorous couples. And, if you’re trying to conceive, sex can become a stressful task fraught with worry and anxiety.
But fret not, we’re here to help! Here are 10 easy tips to spice things up in the bedroom (or elsewhere), helping you and your partner and regain your enthusiasm for sex.
1. Try lubricants
Personal lubricants aren’t just a discreet aid for dryness anymore. With the sheer variety of lubes available nowadays, adding lube play to your love dance is easy and affordable.
Flavoured lubes are always a treat, whether for teasing, foreplay, or oral sex. Minty or warming lubes can add novelty and enjoyable sensations, while Japanese milky-white lubes that resemble semen can add a kinky visual kick.
Lubes also come in a variety of formulations and ingredients to satisfy your personal preferences, whether in terms of wetness, thickness or even ingredients (all-natural, organic and/or vegan-friendly).
Water-based lubes are popular as they are easy to clean-up, but don’t let that stop you from trying out silicone-based or hybrid formulas. Afterall, experimentation is half the fun!
2. Watch each other
It is time to get comfortable with each other on a whole new level.
Pleasure yourself in front of your partner and make them watch — no touching, hurrying or talking allowed. The goal is to show each other how and where you like to be touched, which can lead to more mutually satisfying sex.
To add a little flare, you could always turn it up a notch by making it fun and flirty with a risque, cabaret-style show. Alternatively, hide and peep for some hot and heavy voyeuristic-exhibitionist fun.
3. Pretend to be someone else
This was hilariously lampooned by Phil and Claire in the sitcom Modern Family, but pretending to be strangers out for a tryst can really pump up the excitement in your sex life.
This works because casting off your everyday personality and taking on an alter ego can help you lower your inhibitions and enjoy sex more freely.
Even the anticipation of your (fake) tryst may be enough to get you hot and bothered.
4. Make time for sex
The best kind of sex is the spontaneous kind, but sex that you scheduled into your week can be just as enjoyable.
The idea here isn’t to add yet another task to your To Do List (although, that’d give the term a new meaning!). Rather, it’s about putting aside your busy schedules for the moment, in favour of reconnecting with your lover.
By creating the time and space for intimacy to unfold, you’ll be more relaxed and present in the moment, paving the way for toe-curling sex to follow.
5. Switch positions
Another easy tip to turn things around in the bedroom is to literally do just that — turn things around.
Flip who’s on top, face the other way, try sideways, use the other hand, or you know, switch to an entirely new position (read: refer to the Kama Sutra for inspiration). For best results, explore and consult with your partner before trying anything too athletic or demanding.
Also, don’t overlook simple adjustments, such as putting a pillow under the bum. For more creative positions, consider getting one of those inflatable wedge-shaped cushions or even a harness.
6. Experiment with toys
Adult toys have come a long way from the humble blow-up doll, thanks to improvements and discoveries in materials, technology and user design.
The advent of new types of polymers mean modern sex toys are safer to use, easier to clean and longer lasting, while being more realistic and providing greater satisfaction, giving you better value for money.
New tech-enabled sex toys, such as vibrators that can be controlled with your mobile phone, auto-sucking masturbators and the likes add fantastic (and fantasy-fulfilling) new frontiers to explore and enjoy.
Trailblazers like Tenga are creating sex toys that look so abstract and artistic, they can easily pass as cheeky decorative pieces.
All these mean that sex toys are no longer seen as deviant or taboo, and are gaining ever-widening acceptance as part of a healthy sex life.
twoplus tip: While not designed to be a sex toy, some users of the twoplus Sperm Guide (S$68, £43) have reported increased pleasure when worn during sex. We created the Sperm Guide to help couples conceive, but if you’re getting a few more moans and shudders along the way, that’s a nice bonus!
7. Get out of the bedroom
With new textures, lighting, sounds and smells, having sex in an unfamiliar environment can heighten your excitement and satisfaction, adding some fizz to your sex life.
Hotels are natural options for bringing sex outside the bedroom, but you don’t have to wait till your next staycation.
Do it in the car. Do it in the kitchen. Do it on the couch in the living room. You get the idea.
8. Explore kinks and fantasies
Tell each other about your kinks and fantasies, and draw up a list of things you both want to try. Keep it light and fun — no shaming, please! — and don’t be too hasty in rejecting your partner’s suggestions. Who knows, a 'maybe” might turn into a “yes, yes, yes!” after some mutual exploration.
Beyond creating opportunities to fulfil fantasies, such open and honest communication can foster greater intimacy and trust, ultimately leading to more sparks between the sheets!
9. Get in the shower
The next time you’re hopping into the shower, invite your partner. Or, when they’re getting in, slip right in behind them.
Whatever happens next, happens. A really good back scrub, a relaxed cuddle and chat, a wet and sloppy quickie just like when you first started dating, or a steamy prelude to a mind-blowing morning quickie.
Spontaneity and intimacy is the point, so throw ‘the rules’ out of the window and just enjoy whatever comes next.
10. Exercise or work out together
Taking up a sport or fitness activity together can be a great way to keep the flames high and hot between you two. Regular exercise keeps you in shape, which is already a big turn-on. Plus, sharing an activity you both enjoy makes you pay attention to each other, helping to build up desire.
If you’re a couple that thrives on competition, the friendly rivalry you’ll build up can boil over into some explosive nighttime passion. For couples who are more cooperative, rewarding achievements with backrubs or massages will help keep proceedings hot and sweaty.